Don’t always be sorry!

Because the title is Don’t always be sorry, i wont say sorry for this posting . But, let me tell u something happened in my life recently, i hope u’ll be glad for me ^^. I ever told you that i will have my final test in this post and i really did make it. Thanks for everyone that gave ur pray for me, nothing i can pay for return, just my sincere heart that hoping  u’ll success for ur activity. Hope Allah will bless u all.

So, back to what i wanna share with u all. This is not my own writing, but i hope it can help u to understand about international culture. Not just for u that become indonesia representative in any activities but also it can help u who have hobby to travel around the world. Let’s learn this little thing about familiar word in our ears “sorry”.

Don’t always be sorry!

Hope my writing can bring a new perspective in life =)

I notice the word `sorry’ is often used by Indonesian to express politeness. It reminds me about an interesting experience when I was a student taking English class in a school in New Zealand. Okay, here is the story:

I joined The Big Siblings* program in Wellington, New Zealand. I had lots of friends from all over the world. Most of them were European like Austrian, German, French, Brazilians, and some parts in Asia like Japanese, Korean and Chinese. My friend and I were the first Indonesians.

Most Asians said `sorry’ for almost every single thing. I knew they just wanted to be polite as it is part of their culture, because I did it too, hehe.. For example, when somebody passed you and accidently jogged you. You may be the one who said sorry.. Another example: when we were having `International Lunch’, the students had to cook or bring any traditional dishes of their country of origin to the school. (I made nasi kuning, using an instant mixed ingredients..hehe).  If we knew there’s a person who wanted to taste our dish, but found there was nothing left. We’d like to say sorry, wouldn’t we?! But that’s not our fault she/he ran out of our food! That is his/her fault why she/he didn’t take it earlier, though.

 One day, I was backpacking around in New Zealand with an Indonesian, a German and a French.  We rented a car and travelled from one city to the others in South Island. During the trip we talked about our culture, how romantic French language sounds, how unorganized Indonesian language is, and many other things. Then, my French friend said to the German: “I don’t understand why many Asians say sorry very often. I don’t see anything wrong with what they do, so why they are sorry for everything”. The German replied: “I also don’t understand, but I notice that”. I and my Indonesian friend just stared at each other, and smiled.

 Being polite is part of Indonesian culture, and so is worrying to hurt other people. But, we shouldn’t say sorry to show our politeness, especially when we are with foreigners, unless we did something wrong. Then, sorry is used to express our regret.

*) The Big Siblings is a program where we can get support for our living cost (free accommodation & meals) by taking care of our host family’s children. It is popular among young European as a budget way to learn foreign language and culture.

I also hope, by having budget program, opportunity to study abroad doesn’t ONLY belong to high-economic class Indonesian people. Now, more young Indonesians DO have the opportunity to study abroad, to experience English at first hand, which is living in an English – speaking country. English is a language, not only a subject of study. (www.liv-n-learn.com)

Interesting, isnt it? I got this article in mailing list that iam registered in, and i would like to share comments for this article from the mailing list.

Seorang wanita yang kurang pintar berbahasa inggris menabrak seorang bule

Wanita : I’m sorry

Bule : I’m sorry too

Wanita : I’m sorry three

Bule : What are you sorry for?

Wanita : I’m sorry five

Bule : Are you sick?

Wanita : I’m sorry seven

Bule : ?

(Futty)

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Saya sangat setuju untuk tidak mengatakan “sorry” apabila benar2 tidak bersalah… karena pengalaman saya mengenai hal ini sangat tidak meng-enakan, sewaktu perjalanan saya ke Jerman..

waktu itu di Frankfrurt airport jerman di starbuck.. saya sedang melintas dg troley tas saya melewati meja suami istri dan ada keranjang bayi nya disamping meja mereka  (cukup muda mungkin usia mereka 30-an) mereka duduk berhadapan di satu meja dan saya bergerak melintas dari arah istrinya duduk (jadi saya bergerak dari arah punggung istrinya) dan karena saya sedang membawa kopi jadi troley dari sedikit meluncur dan hampir kena keranjang bayi si suami istri ini, cuma hampir, dan tidak mengenai keranjang bayi mereka dan saya reflek bilang  sorry, eh malah si istri tadi bilang dg nada marah : ” apa yang udah lu lakuin.. “..

dan si suami langsung memotong kata-kata istrinya.. gak koq.. gpp.. gak sempet kena.. karena si suami emang liat pas saya lewat..

so becarefull… you better think twice before you say sorry..  its mean that you already did the mistake. (deddy)

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Hi,

Tulisan mengenai don’t always be sorry ini menarik juga. Kalau saya perhatikan, peristiwa yang kurang mengenakkan saat menggunakan kata ini rata-rata terjadi saat berhadapan dengan orang Eropa ya.

Kalau pengalaman saya disini (di Amerika tepatnya di negara bagian Iowa), orang justru sering sekali menggunakan kata ‘sorry’. Misalnya saya lagi belanja di grocery store dan shopping cart saya hampir tabrakan sama punya orang lain, spontan saya ataupun orang tadi akan mengatakan ‘sorry’. Reaksi orang lain (kalaupun saya nggak bikin salah), biasanya cukup tersenyum atau mengatakan ‘it’s okay’. Orang juga biasanya akan mengatakan ‘sorry’ kalau batuk atau bersin.

Nampaknya ini lebih ke masalah budaya ya.

Best,

Melina

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Menurut saya itu budaya saja, sama halnya ketika saya ke Amerika,orang2 disekitar lingkungan kita tinggal (khususnya) akan menegur kita dipagi hari ketika kita berpapasan dgn mereka (sekalipun kita tidak benar2 mengenalnya) dgn kata “Good Morning”. Pada hal di Indonesia sangat2 tidak lazim kita lakukan, bukan? Atau kita di Indonesia, juga jarang mengucapkan “Terima Kasih” tetapi di Amerika misalnya, sering sekali ucapan “Terima Kasih” utk suatu pertolongan yg sangat kecil sekalipun kita berikan kpd orang lain. Kalau ditanya, mereka (org Amerika) juga akan bilang sebagai suatu Kesopanan. Memang ada bagusnya kita sesuaikan budaya setempat, agar kita bisa diterima oleh lingkungan tsb. (sandrisman)

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Saya juga punya pengalaman waktu berteman dgn orang Australia, bahkan mereka pernah berbicara kepada saya seperti ini sewaktu saya mengatakan sorry, “don’t say sorry if you didn’t do something wrong.”

Memang budaya yg berbeda, tapi asyik juga mengenal budaya mereka yang nggak mudah mengatakan sorry, karena menurut saya jika terlalu sering dikatakan bahkan ketika kita nggak berbuat salah sama sekali, jadinya apa arti sebuah sorry? Kesannya jadi gak ada artinya.

Saya juga punya pengalaman lain, ketika ditraktir oleh teman dari Australia, mereka tidak suka jika kita menanyakan berapa total pengeluaran/harga di rumah makan tersebut. Hehehe.. Jadi jika suatu saat teman-teman ditraktir makan, jangan coba-coba deh nanyain total biaya yg dia keluarkan di rumah makan tersebut..

Pasti nanti jadi kikuk dan nggak enakan..

Sekian..

I hope this article can help u, just feel free to share about ur opinion

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